Should I Get a Divorce?
“I want a divorce!” These four harsh words can break up a union meant to last a lifetime. The decision to pursue divorce is one of the toughest any person can make. While there are legal and financial matters to consider, the decision is also psychological, emotional and even spiritual. A family law attorney can give advice on some of these issues, but the others require some self-reflection.
- Is now the right time for divorce?
You have to ask yourself, “Is my marriage over?” Have you reached the point where there is no hope of reconciliation? Have you tried counseling, therapy or other outside help? Will you be financially able to live on your own? Divorce involves one household becoming two.
- How do I prepare for divorce?
Speak to a San Diego divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers require certain information and documents to get your case started. Prepare an inventory of your assets that includes everything from your house to your bowling trophies to your eight-track collection. Look at all of your bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts and your piggy bank. Know how much you have. Get a handle on your income and expenses. And start planning for life after divorce. Divorce for men may be a different experience than for women. Think about where you will live your life and how you will support yourself.
- What can I expect during the divorce process?
Divorce lawyers will tell you that all depends on whether you’re going through a contested divorce or an uncontested divorce. Will you spouse cooperate and negotiate through the divorce process? Initially, you may not know. Couples often use meditation successfully. Mediation allows the couple to negotiate all of the issues in divorce with an impartial third party, avoiding a court-imposed division of property, custody and alimony. While the process of filing the petition and ending up with a judgment of divorce are universal, what goes on in between depends on you, your divorce attorney and your spouse.
- Will I lose half my stuff in a divorce?
It depends. Your family law attorney will talk to you about property division, alimony and child support in California. Often, it depends on the income and income potential of each spouse. The parties will consider custody arrangements and how those relate to finances. It is well-documented that the number one reason for divorce is money. So money should be an important question to consider as you investigate divorce.
- What if I’ve had indiscretions? What if I caught my spouse?
In California, the only grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences and incapacity to make decisions for yourself. So indiscretions (adultery) are not, in and of themselves, grounds for divorce. Also, fault is not considered in property division or alimony. That being said, such issues will most likely make the divorce more contentious.
- Should I consider my kids in the divorce?
All good parents consider the welfare of their children. Should you stay together for the kids? Perhaps you would be a better parent without your spouse. Shouldn’t your children see you happy? They need to know what a happy, healthy adult looks like. Getting divorced does not mean that you’ve failed your children. Psychologists have put out a wealth of information about how to talk to your kids about divorce. Consider the advice of professionals. But you know your family best.
Should I get a divorce? This is the most difficult question any adult will ask. A divorce lawyer in San Diego will help you take a look at these things to consider before take the plunge.
Contact San Diego Family Law Attorney Richard M. Renkin
Attorney Richard M. Renkin provides experienced representation for child custody matters in the San Diego area. He is also a trained family law mediator. If you have questions about any type of child custody matter, feel free to call (619) 299-7100, or contact the Law Office of Renkin & Associates online today.